14 Things Your Employees Are Dying To Hear From You

Learn These Phrases To Help Revive Employee Engagement And Better Connect With Your Employees

Words by Todd Patkin

What were your last 10 or 15 employee conversations like? Chances are, they included phrases like, “I need you to finish that projection by the end of the day” or “I’m putting you on the Brown account” or “How much longer do you think it’ll take to finish that PowerPoint the client requested?” After all, you can’t run a business without addressing these types of issues. And chances are, unless they were delivered in a, shall we say, forceful tone of voice, your employees don’t mind hearing pertinent instructions and questions. So why does their morale seem to be, well, wilting?

The problem might not be what you’re saying but what you’re not saying. The good news is, with a few well-chosen words, you can nurture employee relationships and help their engagement blossom this spring.

In the midst of the everyday chaos of running a business, leaders often don’t think about what they could or should say to motivate their employees. Often, leaders assume their employees know how they feel – about each person’s individual performance and about the company’s health in general. Usually, though, that’s not the case.

I speak from experience. For nearly two decades I was instrumental in leading my family’s auto parts business, Autopart International, to new heights until it was finally bought by Advance Auto Parts in 2005. One of my most reliable growth strategies was to proactively nurture my employees’ attitudes about their jobs by engaging them in conversation. Now I translate that experience into consulting with organizations to help them build corporate morale and promote greater productivity.

They’d never bring it up themselves, but there are certain phrases your employees really want to hear from you. Some have to do with affirmation; others center on encouragement, reassurance, respect, gratitude or trust. When you verbalize these things – which takes only a few seconds of your time! – you will notice a big change in your employees’ motivation, commitment, and productivity.

If you start incorporating these phrases into your at-work vocabulary, your employees’ engagement will blossom:

“I need your help.” The age of rule-with-an-iron-fist, top-down leadership is fading fast. More and more, organizations in all industries are realizing there’s an almost-magical power in the synergy of teams. Here’s how that applies to you: Your employees all have unique skill sets, experiences and ideas – so tap into them!

“How is your family?” The truth is, people don’t care how much you know (or how good you are at your job) until they know how much you care. Your employees will be more loyal and more motivated if they feel valued as individuals, not just as job descriptions. So get to know each team member on an individual basis and incorporate that knowledge into your regular interactions. For instance, if you know that John in Accounting has a daughter who’s applying to college, ask him which schools she’s considering. Or if Susanna in HR just came back from vacation, ask to see a few pictures.

“What do you need from me?” Often, employees are anxious about asking the boss for what they need, whether it’s updated office equipment, more time to complete a project, advice or something else. They may fear a harsh response, want to avoid looking needy or simply feel it’s not their place to ask for more than you’ve already provided. By explicitly asking what you can give them, you extend permission for your people to make those requests – and they’ll certainly appreciate it.

“I noticed what you did.” Every day your employees do a lot of “little” things that keep your company running smoothly and customers coming back: Refilling the copier with paper when it’s empty. Smiling at customers after each transaction. Double-checking reports for errors before sending them on. And so forth. Unfortunately, in many organizations, these everyday actions are taken for granted, which (understandably) has a negative effect on employee morale.

“Thank you.” Yes, your employees may crave recognition for doing the mundane parts of their jobs, but that doesn’t mean they won’t also appreciate a heartfelt “thank you” for bigger accomplishments. Whether it’s “Thanks for staying late last night,” “Thanks for being so patient with Mrs. Smith – I know she can be a difficult customer,” “Thank you for making our first-quarter marketing campaign a success” or something else, your people will treasure your appreciation more than you realize.

“Hey, everyone – listen to what Riley accomplished!” Everybody loves to be recognized and complimented in front of peers. So don’t stop with a mere compliment when an employee experiences a win – tell the rest of the team too! Whether correctly or incorrectly, many employees feel their leaders point out only their mistakes in front of the group, so make it your daily mission to prove that perception wrong.

“What would you like to do here?” Sure, you originally hired each of your employees to do a specific job. But over time your company has grown and changed – and so have your people. That’s why it’s a good idea to check in with each one of them periodically to ask what they’d like to be doing. You might be surprised to learn, for instance, that your administrative assistant would like to be included in the next marketing campaign design team. You might be even more (pleasantly!) surprised to find that her social media engagement ideas yield impressive results.

“I have bad news.” You certainly don’t mind sharing good news with your employees, but bad news is a different story. Your instinct might be to play down negative developments or even keep them to yourself entirely. Nobody wants to be the person who says, “We’re going to have to eliminate some positions over the next six months” or “Unfortunately, our company can’t afford to provide raises or bonuses this year.”

Nevertheless, your employees deserve to hear the truth from you as soon as possible. They aren’t stupid and will be able to tell when something is “up” even if you don’t acknowledge it. By refusing to share bad news, you’ll only increase paranoia and anxiousness – neither of which is good for engagement or productivity. But when you treat your people like responsible adults by being honest and open, they will appreciate your transparency – and often you’ll find that they’re willing to voluntarily double their efforts to help you turn the tide.

 “What do you think?” Maybe you’ve never put much emphasis on the thoughts and opinions of your employees. After all, you pay them a fair wage to come to work each day and perform specific tasks. As a leader, it’s your job to decide what those tasks should be and how they should be carried out, right? Well, yes – strictly speaking. But this unilateral approach to leading your team sends the impression that you’re superior (even if that’s not your intent) and also contributes to disengagement.

Employees who are told what to do feel like numbers or cogs in a machine. Often, their performance will be grudging and uninspired. To unlock buy-in and achievement, make your employees feel like valued partners by asking them for their opinions, ideas and preferences. Again, they’ll be much more invested in your organization’s success because they had an active part in creating it. And guess what? Your employees probably won’t care as much as you think they will if their suggestions don’t become reality. Mostly they just want to know that their voices were heard by the people in charge.

“Here’s how our company works and where we stand.” In many companies, employees in Sales don’t know much about what’s happening in Accounting. Likewise, the folks in Accounting aren’t really familiar with how things in the warehouse work … and so on and so forth. Generally this state of affairs doesn’t cause too many problems. But helping your employees make connections regarding how your company works from top to bottom will streamline internal processes, reduce misunderstandings and promote team spirit.

“That’s OK. We all make mistakes. Let’s talk about how to fix this.” In business, mistakes are going to happen. And in many instances, the impact they have on your company revolves around how you as a leader handle them. Sure, lambasting an employee who has dropped the ball may make you feel better in the short term, but it’ll negatively impact that employee’s self-confidence, relationship with you and feelings for your company for much longer.

Don’t get me wrong: You shouldn’t take mistakes, especially those involving negligence, incompetence or dishonesty, lightly. But when your employees have made an honest mistake, try to be as understanding with them as you would be with your own family members. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that the employee feels very bad already and that yelling or lecturing won’t change the past. Instead, focus on figuring out what went wrong and how to keep it from happening again. Did the employee (or the company as a whole) learn something? Should a process or procedure be tweaked going forward to reduce the chances of something similar reoccurring?

“You deserve a reward.” Simple things like gratitude, respect, and autonomy make people far more happy than, say, big salaries and corner offices. However, I’m not denying that more tangible rewards like bonuses, vacation time, prime parking spaces, benefits, and more have their place in raising employee engagement. The truth is, you’ll be hard-pressed to find an employee who doesn’t appreciate these things.

“I know you can do it.” Of course you should try to hire employees who are confident and self-directed. But even the most self-assured individuals appreciate an explicit vote of confidence from their leaders! Constantly challenge your people and push them to improve while reassuring them that you believe in them.

“This task is in your hands – I’m stepping back.” Most micromanaging leaders don’t set out to annoy or smother their employees. The problem is they care – a lot! – and want to make sure that everything is done just so and that there are no balls dropped or opportunities missed. Excessive hovering can give employees the impression that you don’t trust them – a belief that actively undermines engagement.
Remember, business is always personal. Specifically, it’s about reaching and motivating each of your employees on a personal level so that they care about contributing to your organization’s ultimate success. Which phrases will you be adding to your at-work vocabulary? n

Todd Patkin is a former business owner and the author of “Finding Happiness: One Man’s Quest to Beat Depression and Anxiety and – Finally – Let the Sunshine In,” “Twelve Weeks to Finding Happiness: Boot Camp for Building Happier People” and “Destination: Happiness: The Travel Guide That Gets You From Here to There, Emotionally and Spiritually.”