A coaching client in the construction industry came to me during a significant professional transition. Much of what was happening was outside his control, and he could feel his confidence taking a hit.
The pressure wasn’t simply creating a difficult situation. It was changing how he saw himself inside it.
That’s what pressure does.
When things are calm, we can believe we’re confident, patient, collaborative and resilient. Then a deadline moves, a client calls, an employee quits or revenue dips - and suddenly hidden beliefs become visible behaviors.
Under pressure, some leaders control more. Others withdraw. Some take work back from their teams, push harder, avoid a needed conversation or seek certainty where none exists. Those reactions may feel justified in the moment, yet they can quietly cost us trust, ownership, speed and perspective.
Rather than avoiding pressure, notice what it’s pulling out of you before your automatic reactions begin leading the business.
The 3 M’s
In my Leadership Mindset keynote, I teach three tools leaders can use when pressure rises: Meaning, Message and Mirrors.
Meaning: What story are you writing?
Pressure creates urgency, and urgency tempts us to make assumptions and write our stories too quickly.
“They don’t respect me.”
“If I don’t fix this, everything will fall apart.”
“I should be better at this.”
“We’re in trouble.”
Sometimes we write those stories ourselves. Sometimes we adopt stories written for us by a former boss, a parent, a colleague, a painful experience, or someone else’s expectations.
Slow the story down.
Ask: Is this actually true? What else could be true? What would I have to believe for this story to make sense?
You don’t necessarily need a more positive story. You need a more useful and accurate one.
Message: How are you talking to yourself?
Pressure turns up the volume on our internal voice.
If that voice says, “Don’t screw this up,” “You should know better,” or “Everyone is counting on you,” we create additional headwind on top of an already difficult situation.
The pressure may be real. The extra headwind is optional.
Instead of accusation and judgment, we can use curiosity and direction:
What do I know?
What can I control?
What does this moment need?
What is the next useful step?
We can also reinforce what’s working by replaying wins, acknowledging progress, and reminding ourselves what we’re capable of.
Mirrors: Who has permission to challenge you?
Pressure can narrow perspective. The more responsibility we carry, the easier it becomes to get trapped inside our own interpretation.
That’s why strong leaders need mirrors - trusted people who can reflect back what we cannot see from where we stand.
Not everyone gets a vote, but somebody should.
Who can say, “Have you considered this perspective?” or “Is that yours to carry?” and know you’ll listen?
The client I mentioned earlier described our work as helping him gain clarity in areas he didn’t even realize were unclear and define his own sense of purpose.
The circumstances didn’t instantly disappear. His relationship with them changed.
That’s why I believe pressure can be a privilege.
Pressure gives us information. It exposes stories, beliefs, messages and blind spots we may never notice when everything is easy.
When pressure rises, don’t only ask, “How do I get through this?”
Ask:
What is this revealing?
What is it inviting me to become? n
Jeff Koziatek is a keynote speaker and executive coach with Core Authenticity. He helps leaders and teams turn pressure, change, and uncertainty into competitive advantage by shifting the mindsets and behaviors shaping their response - strengthening performance without sacrificing people or culture. Learn more at CoreAuthenticity.com.