by Judy Ryan
“Whenever someone I loved, loved me, I did whatever I could to keep it constant. Bit by bit, I learned all the rules – what to say, what to give, what to withhold, so I could keep that love constant. To go through all of that, to worry about who’s got the upper hand, or who’s going to change first, made the love worthless. I found out the constant is up to me. Promises are broken, friends will be fickle and love goes its own course. And all of it has to finally not matter.” — Mass Appeal, a 1984 (brilliant) movie
I was fascinated by an interview between American journalist and podcaster Ezra Klein and American author, journalist, and political analyst Andand Giridharadas. They spoke on “What the Epstein Files Reveal About How Elite Worlds Work.” This conversation shows what we can learn from one of today’s most destructive power structures. I write this article to extract key lessons for all of us who hold leadership roles and shape society.
What can we learn about the sociology of how and why some people exercise power and choice in destructive ways? What are the negative consequences? I am reminded of middle school when we saw some vie for identity and power in immature, self-serving ways. Below are lessons about these kinds of antics in some leaders:
As power corrupts, it is very ugly. A network of powerful people hangs out together, colluding, sharing information, tips on deals, advice and introductions, all to further their own ends. This is about endless transactional-ism, often devoid of morality and based in greed, inferiority complex, and climbing over others.
When leaders don’t face their unrealized expectations and fears, they can become depraved. No matter how much power, money, acclaim, or position, powerful people can be preyed upon to sell their souls, and often they choose to do so. To the average person this seems unimaginable; these people have arrived, right? Yes, but often by compromising their ethics along the way and then continuing to do so to get or remain there.
Gaps in culture are often exploited by a con. Whether we are speaking of the culture of society or the workplace culture, where the deepest needs of people are not met, there is room for ‘grooming’ by conmen; not only to sexual abuse, but for all kinds of exploitation. When some recognize the deepest needs and gaps of anyone, a skilled person games this, similar to those appealing to teens desperate to be in the in-crowd.
When needs are not met, people at all levels are susceptible to desperation. Just as a young person can be wooed into a gang to feel empowered, connected and to feel they matter, so too can any person be tempted to desperately get these met, especially when they are expected to never need anything. This is why leaders must be able to understand how we all need these, in order to get them met and avoid temptation to sell our souls.
Concentric circles of enablement fuel cowardice and avarice. Only a person with a strong, ethical center can stand up and speak the truth in the face of grave injustice, abuse, and immorality. Many leaders do this. Others need to find their way. We expect courage from those who have achieved high levels of business success and wealth but cowardice and avarice weaken too many who seem otherwise accomplished and brilliant.
To be brave and ethical in today’s world is a social, psychological and spiritual choice many leaders are called to make. Destructive power structures must be dismantled and valid needs within all must be understood and met in healthy, purpose and values-based ways. Without understanding the gaps in meeting these needs, we cannot be leaders who shift power from corruption to instead innovate and create a loving, caring, abundant and safe society.
Now is the time to examine what must be learned as you examine the elite power structures in play and consider what, why, and how to avoid the same mistakes and destruction they cause. Now is the time to educate yourself on what systems help meet the real needs in people rather than inadvertently exploit them and drive them to desperation. The healthier the power system you provide, the more you help everyone, including yourself, to love their lives and be proud of what you co-create together.
Judy Ryan (judy@LifeworkSystems.com), human systems specialist, is owner of LifeWork Systems. Join her in her mission to create a world in which all people love their lives. She can also be reached at 314-239-4727.
People hire LifeWork Systems because we help businesses become agile and manage their priority system: their human system. I hope this article helps you make sense of what’s most crucial to your evolving organization!