by Judy Ryan
I was recently working with a group in my CultureEX™ certification program on the four intrinsic (internal) motivators. These are vital because without knowing them or how to develop and support them within people, the workplace default is too often to use extrinsic (external) control to manipulate behavior we want from others. This matters because it dampens the excellence, courage and innovation within people individually and in teams.
The first and most important intrinsic motivator is a Sense of Meaningfulness and something that negatively impacts it is cynicism. One of my group participants asked me, “How do you distinguish between healthy skepticism and toxic cynicism? Doesn’t cynicism sometimes originate from genuine inquiry? Isn’t it legitimate when someone has repeatedly encountered situations where trust or optimism was betrayed? Could you consider cynicism to be valuable when it exposes power imbalances or manipulative systems or when it questions unchecked positivity or wishful thinking that ignores real problems?
Can there ever be “healthy cynicism”?” Here were my responses:
First, remember that toxic cynicism in our session is defined as:
- Embarrassing or shaming idealism
- Punishing or suppressing passion
- Jaded negativity
- Assigning negative motives to others
Generally, I can tell the difference between healthy skepticism and toxic cynicism. Words matter. The first, healthy skepticism, is based on observing and sincerely questioning observations and seeking more information; it is kind and curious. Neither does it wholly dismiss what is or may be true or positive in assertions being made. The second, toxic cynicism, is a general assumption of worst-case scenario; it is pessimistic. It is not so much kind and curious as fearful, suspicious and assumes the worst. I have been with cynical people and they are protecting themselves from hope, getting hopes dashed, worry about being judged too idealistic or naive, or as a way to brace for possible negative outcomes. On the other hand, healthy skepticism is seeking to find the truth without assuming the worst and without protecting one’s self.
As for cynicism borne of lived experiences, I understand this even though it is still destructive. I knew a woman who If I mentioned someone had a baby, she would say, “Did you hear about the baby whose mother left it in the car to die?” She constantly worked to suppress passion and to shame idealism. Her lived experience contributed to her cynicism, and…this leached into her children in highly toxic ways. One said, “I believe people are basically bad and have to be controlled.” Another failed to live a life he preferred professionally because passion for his own dreams was discouraged. Survival conversations were the norm instead. These are effects of cynicism because it has a way of keeping one focused on the negative and feeling ashamed about hope, inspiration, excitement, passion, and desire. Healthy skepticism does not feel like this. So no, I don’t believe there is healthy cynicism.
You mention cynicism originating from genuine inquiry and in the face of betrayal of trust or where a person was ‘conned’ into having optimism falsely. I would call this discernment, healthy skepticism, and reasonable challenges to the status quo. If it is judging, it is judging systems based on observations and data, not judging the goodness or badness of people or their feelings. I also agree that unchecked positivity or wishful thinking that ignores real problems requires healthy skepticism and Socratic questioning. Over-the-top positivity and denial of facts in evidence, is also a protection; a coping mechanism that falls apart under sincere, compassionate scrutiny. Such denial should be questioned because to NOT do so, enables people to remain in pseudo-community and ‘magical thinking’ exempting them from facing what needs facing. This requires SLAM (say less, ask more). To question facts does not make a person cynical, but rather a critical thinker discerning what works and not, why, and what to do. Kind and curious inquiry is clear-eyed about the negative side-effects of magical thinking and denial. This person can simultaneously hold positive beliefs in people while helping them out of denial. Discernment is antithetical to a cynical mindset. It may be skeptical about logic and conclusions but is not cynical about people or passion.
Judy Ryan (judy@LifeworkSystems.com), human systems specialist, is owner of LifeWork Systems. Join her in her mission to create a world in which all people love their lives. She can also be reached at 314-239-4727.
People hire LifeWork Systems because we help businesses become agile and manage their priority system: their human system. I hope this article helps you make sense of what’s most crucial to your evolving organization!