“The best way to resolve any problem in the human world is for all sides to sit down and talk.” — Dalai Lama
“We walk together, we move together, we think together, we resolve together, and together we take this country forward.” — Narendra Modi, prime minister of India
Resolving issues is one of the most important things to encourage and support in people for effective collaboration and success. To do so takes skill, purpose, values, tools, support and courage. Often unresolved issues remain fixed because there is fear and unresolved trauma within us in addition to that within others. When issues remain unresolved, it is like a car with water in the gas tank, therefore prone to poor performance.
The Courage to be Imperfect
Despite my fluidity in understanding and promoting behaviors needed to build trust and the tools for resolving issues in a relationship, I still find doing this to be both challenging and vulnerable. The more I release my need for acceptance or to be and look agreeable, the more I move into action and grow. In fact, when I seek to resolve something with another, even with such knowledge, I usually feel uncertain and uncomfortable. I must draw upon courage and self-acceptance; especially the courage to do it imperfectly, and to make mistakes.
Do we have a “10”?
When LifeWork Systems works with our customers, we assert that the foundation for a healthy workplace culture is trustworthiness. This is defined as reflecting on relationships regularly to determine if we have a “10” with everyone. A “10” is a relationship with no unresolved issues. In a “10,” respect, recognition, receptivity, and disclosure are abundant as are honesty, straightforwardness, seeking excellence and following through on commitments. When you or another don’t have these, the “10” slips. Managing a “10” is vital.
I recently met with a powerful leader to discuss possible collaboration in bringing positive change to St. Louis. In our meeting, I started to feel dominated in our conversation and grew frustrated. We were not a “10.” I decided to speak up about it. Even though I did not do this in the most ideal manner (I teach this for gosh sakes!) I am proud that I wanted the “10” and that I had courage. In this instance, I did not do it elegantly, but I had the opportunity to learn and grow because of how it went down. I know this will help me to help others.
Self-Acceptance
What is hardest about resolving issues is the internalized messages that arise. The ideas that we are not enough (or are too much), not worthy, not perfect, not capable, not significant and do not belong. These are activated when resolving issues. Remembering all are perfect as we are, is needed to resolve internal AND external issues. The beauty is that when we see what is triggered within and between us and others, and if we embrace the messiness of all of it, we grow. For me, this is walking my talk and being the change I wish to see.
The Value of Consistent Concepts, Tools and Support
Being human is not easy! It helps to recognize it as a privilege and a great source of joy when coupled with our healing, both within us and with others. Those who seek excellence will be drawn to us as we seek it and those who fall away are all part of our growth and evolution. This is the way forward in your business too. As your team grows in personal responsibility, you will attract great people and lose some not committed to greatness.
As people learn essential concepts and apply tools that build trust and foster emotional and social intelligence, we resolve problems and move forward together into a brighter, more loving future in which all people love their lives (the LifeWork Systems mission). We can help you in the change process by providing your business the system to ensure your people resolve issues, grow as a team, and develop high trust, loyalty, and caring. You develop into a “10” organization and the trustworthiness within it fuels your success in serving others.
Judy Ryan (judy@LifeworkSystems.com), human systems specialist, is owner of LifeWork Systems. Join her in her mission to create a world in which all people love their lives. She can also be reached at 314-239-4727.
People hire LifeWork Systems because we help businesses become agile and manage their priority system: their human system. I hope this article helps you make sense of what’s most crucial to your evolving organization!