by Judy Ryan
“I have found that if you love life, life will love you back.”
— Arthur Rubinstein, famous pianist.
“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched—they must be felt with the heart.”
— Helen Keller, author, activist and educator (deaf and blind)
My mission is to create a world in which all people love their lives. What are the conditions and conversations that create such a world? One memory that helped shape my purpose occurred when I was 11. Like many that age, I was chubby and awkward and trying to find my way. I was in a school with some really mean girls, and I was bullied. Like many others bullied, I thought if I just changed myself to make others happy, things would get better. I determined to win friendship by figuring out what others wanted from me and giving it to them. It did not work and it was exhausting.
Soon, I realized I was tired of this and committed to be myself - no matter what. To my surprise, this immediately freed me. I didn’t know what this was at the time, but I had created my own psychological safety. As I showed up as myself, to my surprise, instead of the sky falling - as I half expected it to - people respected and admired me. I had the most popular year of my life. I loved my life! You may be wondering, “What does any of this have to do with my business?”
Here’s the deal. Hopefully you love your business and the work you do. Hopefully your people do too. When you, your staff and your customers love their lives, this is the foundation of long-term success in the broadest sense of the word. Do you know what causes people to put their own self-interest aside for others? It’s happiness and self-respect that results in overflow. For people to be fully engaged, committed, loyal and helpful, loving their lives is the ultimate secret sauce. Here are a few things to do and get in order to support this:
1. Celebrate. Instead of celebrating only what gets done or earned, celebrate who people are. Recognize how amazing they are, AS they are. By appreciating the gifts, talents, AND differences, the joy generated is contagious. Celebration replaces self-criticism, self-doubt, and self-betrayal.
2. Focus. The most important choice one can make is focusing on yourself at your best. Notice what you cause, and get busy causing THAT all over the place! Codify it into words and focus on it as top priority. This becomes your trajectory to triumph! This is purpose and mission; not what you DO or HOW you do it, but what you CAUSE. Focusing here builds self-trust, self-respect and self-love. How can you see what you cause at your best and be discouraged? You won’t. This is one of the most challenging things to do because we have been conditioned to avoid and fear it. And… because it requires a high level of personal responsibility to claim it and fully commit to it.
3. Support. We’ve all heard that when people know better, they do better. That’s partially true. However, even when people know better, without the right support, they still may not do better. What kind of support am I talking about? The bottom line is this: the support needed is that which transfers responsibility to people until they live from their purpose, stop trying to control themselves and others, and experience courage, skill and joy in being themselves fully! I glimpsed the power of this as an 11-year-old and it has been a vital guide in my work. I have been determined to bring this support to all I meet and with whom I work. I bring them the concepts, tools, and support that helps them tap into the power and skill for loving their lives!
Often, we think supporting the MIND is priority. Supporting the whole person is much better. Then they live from purpose, experience freedom with responsibility, think critically, act holistically, and grow in courage to take risks and lead or follow as needed. Supporting the HEART and confident, aligned ACTION is important and why Helen Keller’s words are true – the most beautiful things must be felt with the heart. LifeWork Systems is here to help. No matter what life throws at you or your people, may you grow in loving your life today and more tomorrow, and learn to help those you lead do the same!
Judy Ryan (judy@LifeworkSystems.com), human systems specialist, is owner of LifeWork Systems. Join her in her mission to create a world in which all people love their lives. She can also be reached at 314-239-4727.
People hire LifeWork Systems because we help businesses become agile and manage their priority system: their human system. I hope this article helps you make sense of what’s most crucial to your evolving organization!