by Judy Ryan
I am writing this article because autonomy IS freedom and when we fear freedom, we fear ourselves and our initiative and motivation. The world is changing and exercising personal power and living intentionally are essential not only for ourselves but for those we lead and serve. Without being aware of how we and others surrender our freedom and initiative, and fail to make accountable choices, we don’t see what is lost.
Most people avoid personal power and freedom by spending too much time focused on surface problems and who’s to blame. In this avoidance, they fail to see how conditioned they are to fear their own power and choice. Focusing at the surface keeps them layers above the root causal level. Worst of all, they disconnect from the deep place within them that positively informs their choices – their purpose. The courage needed to operate in meaningful and contributing ways is fueled by commitment to purpose.
For years, I have dismantled systems that cause shrinking and install instead those that celebrate, make safe and guide personal power, which is the path to maximum freedom. I learned over time how to stand for this, such that I grew in my constancy to notice what I cause and consciously choose what I cause. Now, I’m able to help others do the same. As a result, I see predictable, repeatable patterns of resistance to freedom and I know how to overcome them. This is why I share with you my lessons learned - to support you in your path forward and to outline why purpose is crucial.
Our Dilemma
No matter how wealthy, educated, accomplished and celebrated, at the core, most people think if they get enough love, approval and acceptance from others, life will finally work and they can be happy. Too often in pursuit of this, they sell their souls, step on and over others, and bypass their inner wisdom.
Conditioning to look outside of ourselves for these is so prevalent, that we must be weaned from this as a baby is the bottle. The real treasure we seek is our own power and how to guide it from the highest callings in our hearts and minds. Otherwise, we continue to seek externally and compromise our potential, which leads to fleeting, self-serving, and disappointing experiences. So, because purpose is so vital, what must we remember about it? Purpose (also called mission) as LifeWork Systems defines it includes the following:
- Purpose lights up you and others; it inspires awe and feels natural, authentic, hopeful and is memorable.
- When it’s right, you don’t have to look it up; you love to think, write and say it to feel wonder, awe, and joy.
- Purpose rarely sounds conventional; it doesn’t sound professional, sophisticated, or “jargony.”
- Purpose never excludes; it is not “caused for ‘others’ ‘them’ ‘clients’ ‘dogs.’ Purpose is for all, including you.
- Purpose never relies on circumstances; not age, setting, health, job, role, achievement, era, or identity.
- Purpose never competes; all purposes complement and magnify one another.
- Purpose is personal and transpersonal; it is intended to affect us individually and also to affect others.
The Story of Bob and Judy
Bob is a leader, responsible for guiding hundreds of people in a cross-functional and highly visible project in a multi-national company. When he first called me, he was struggling with the executives and culture within his organization. Initially, in an early conversation, I remember sharing with him the crucial need for purpose and how it reflects in what we cause at our best.
Now Bob is a client in a culture change project. When creating his purpose in session 1, he submitted it to me as “I cause coherence.” This purpose was vague, jargony and not descriptive as per Bob’s training. Here is a series of communications between Bob and I. I share these so you can see why this concept is so core and how to understand what it is to stand for the concept of a healthy, inspiring purpose and why.
Me: Bob, your current purpose statement “I cause coherence” is not in touch with your heart; that part of you that was moved when we originally touched upon purpose months ago and you choked up. “I cause coherence” is analytical, safe, difficult to understand, and disconnects you from others. To accept it on my part would be selling out on you. I won’t. You were to use our process to explore specific memories in which you felt the most alive, expanded, and connected.
Because coherence is not heart-centered or easy to relate to, you do not inspire others to support you in causing your purpose. Committing to your purpose is more important than anything else because it is THE most responsible thing you can do. Without purpose, it is not possible to build a responsibility-based culture.
Contrast your purpose, “I cause coherence” with these examples from executive leaders. My purpose is to cause, deliver, create or inspire in all …
…love and joy
…reveal best selves
…confidence and shine
…included, worthy, appreciated, and loved
…faith in joyful possibilities
…safe and joyful connections
…joyful, caring community
…caring community, courage and celebrations
Bob: Thanks Judy, I appreciate the feedback but I am still partial to my simple version, “My purpose is to cause coherence”. I have been pondering this topic heavily for a few years now, and I keep coming back to “where do I feel in balance, where do I feel out of balance?” In my mind’s eye, I visualize this fulcrum with blocks stacked on top of each other, each representing important components of my life: Health, Family, Friendships, Community, Service, Professional Development, etc. I have found outlets and investments of my time and energy for all of those blocks, except one. I continue to struggle with not feeling fully engaged in my career.
Me: Bob, the final block you describe IS directly tied with your purpose. I hope in time you will see this should you embrace the advice I’m offering. How would you describe your purpose to a 6th grader? To your own children? What words would you use so they can picture what you are causing for yourself and for them? Even when in college, they would likely glaze over with talk of coherence and fulcrum. I know you mean something very important when you are saying these words..
Purpose is personal AND transpersonal; it is there to benefit you AND others. This is what’s missing from your purpose. It’s as if you are hiding and hoarding it, who you are and what you mean, and what you can do with your power, all behind words that leave people separate; unable to understand what you’re saying, not feeling your commitment to them or to yourself. You are not disclosing which inhibits creating a fulfilling life.
Judy’s Aha
During this next exchange with Bob, I came to fully realize the importance of purpose to our freedom.
Bob: I gotta’ be honest, Judy, I am getting worn down by the back and forth here. It feels like you have something in mind, and we’re not going to move forward until what is in your mind, is what I claim as my purpose. The Lifework Systems definition of purpose is very contrary to other purpose statements I have spent time with previously, and it seems I am just not getting it.
Me: Yes, I do have something in mind and no you are not getting it.
Can you open to the idea that a responsibility-based model starts with a socially interested purpose – in other words, using your personal power and your best self to cause positive consequences to and for yourself AND others? You are not getting it because you are trying to fit this concept of purpose into something familiar, something conventionally acceptable, something you’ve already learned, rather than opening to it as a possible missing piece that could shift everything for you and others. This concept, committing to one’s purpose in the way we instruct, is not hierarchical, and not striving to be right, relevant, or socially safe. Rather it is choosing to be fully responsible.
Personal responsibility is about starting from the inside of one’s self, at the core level; living life from the fully, intrinsically motivated center of who you are and what you are here to bring. Purpose is central to this model. Personal responsibility is individual AND collective, it is freedom AND responsibility. Just like you can’t pick and choose to ignore some things at the causal level for yourself without experiencing the effects personally, so too you cannot ignore things at the causal level for others without causing effects for them. The question is do you want to be intentional in all of this? We are always exercising our power. We are always causing. We best serve everyone (including ourself) to be purposeful about it and to have an expanded, fully alive trajectory rather than remain unconscious and self-focused, and about as helpful as the proverbial bull in the China shop.
Bob: So, the question seems to distill down to: is it more important that my purpose statement aligns to the LifeWork Systems model, or that it resonates with me?
Me: Bob, your question tells me you feel the answer must be either/or; it is BOTH. The LifeWork Systems model requires you determine what you cause at your best and put a stake in the ground for it. That is the alignment expected.
AND… it must also resonate with you. This is why it is discovered through your unique, expansive, specific memories and what is drawn from them. This is why your purpose will resonate with you if you engage in the process provided.
At least one reason this does not resonate with you is because I am asking you to connect it to how you impact not only yourself, but others. I could tell from our recent conversation in a mentoring session that you believe causing things for others is somehow:
1. none of your business
2. not your responsibility
3. not important to living a responsible life
4. is presumptuous regarding others, and
5. not something you should be asked to do, especially if it feels uncomfortable.
Bob: I can say something like, “My purpose is to elevate everyone in the world to their highest state” but I don’t feel connected to that.
Me: Then I suggest you find a purpose you DO connect with that is in service to you AND others. Do the process until this connects for you. It feels a little like that click you had when you realized you wanted to marry your wife. It fit, it inspired, it brought the best to the surface. Let me help you if you need support.
To be clear: You are not being asked to impose your purpose on anyone. You are an advocate for it; a representative of it. It’s like being a happy person because you like being happy, it’s the most meaningful and natural to you, and as a result, you enjoy spreading happiness. You are not trying to force anyone to be happy. You are modeling it, asking questions that support it, offering it, and being a stand for it. Like a sweet and loving dog, you are not afraid to lavish your purpose on the world from the joy and love inside you. I know this sounds antithetical to corporate think and corporate speak and I say “Thank God we are moving out of that model!” We are now in evolutionary Teal; a model of radical consciousness you are familiar with and want.
Bob: For what it’s worth, this interaction is akin to many interactions I have had with other authority figures over time. My default is to shut down, or say whatever that person wants to hear, so I am proud of myself for engaging in a healthy conversation. If nothing else, that is growth...
Me: Absolutely! You are trusting and valuing yourself Bob! Keep doing that! I am also doing this more than ever before, to keep it real, to lead with my experience, intuition, and knowledge, to choose my courage and vulnerability and my willingness to not be liked, with my purpose - all rather than to operate from fear. I offer information with a surrendered heart regarding what others, including you, do with my guidance.
As I write this article, Bob is reflecting on all of this and commits to continue this conversation. I don’t know the outcome and I choose to submit this article in this moment, fully in my own yard and knowing my own purpose. The greatest joy and gift we give is being intact and my hope is that this writing will inspire you experience the effects of my purpose; to a life you love by a purpose from which YOU responsibly choose!
Judy Ryan (judy@LifeworkSystems.com), human systems specialist, is owner of LifeWork Systems. Join her in her mission to create a world in which all people love their lives. She can also be reached at 314-239-4727.
People hire LifeWork Systems because we help businesses become agile and manage their priority system: their human system. I hope this article helps you make sense of what’s most crucial to your evolving organization!