Handline Conflict

by Richard Avdoian

Let’s face it: Conflict is not only inevitable but also a regular part of our personal and business life. In any group there will often be different opinions and experiences that will impact a conversation or task. In the workplace, individuals from one department will see the needs of the company differently from those in other departments and possibly even from the boss based on their jobs and how their work affects the company.

Conflict can actually be healthy, beneficial and productive.
Since conflict is a natural part of living life, our goal should not be to stifle or eliminate it but rather to embrace it. If handled in a timely and constructive manner, it can prove to be beneficial and insightful. Relationships and companies can be enriched by exploring differences, new approaches to tasks and new creative ideas. When conflict is addressed at the onset and is dealt with openly with respect, generally all involved are stimulated to be more forthcoming with creative ideas and alternative processes. This raises the quality of participation and productivity and can establish a strong unified “We” culture.

Ways to Handle Personal and Business Conflicts
There are many ways of handling personal and business conflicts. Here are a few. There is no one approach or solution to deal with conflict that will work in all situations or with all personality types. Having an understanding of these approaches will prove helpful when you are deciding how to address and handle a conflict.

Avoid it. Individuals attempt to turn a blind eye to the conflict or simply dismiss it as though it isn’t happening. Unfortunately, the conflict doesn’t go away and often intensifies, which can result in it being unmanageable. If the conflict isn’t critical to the functioning of the company, denial or avoidance may be the productive way to handle conflict. Giving attention to noncritical conflicts can consume time and elevate a minor issue to a bigger issue.

Sugarcoat it. “We are like family here. We don’t fight.” “Come on — we are a happy, functional team.” This approach minimizes differences or doesn’t acknowledge the positive aspects of addressing the conflict. The source of the conflict rarely goes away or resolves itself. This approach may be used when the value or importance of the relationship is more important than dealing with a rather insignificant issue.

Use clout. Clout is often used to settle differences or conflicts. The source of clout may be from one’s position or an assertive/aggressive personality. It can also come from a majority voice or a pushy persuasive minority. This approach, however, results in a winners/losers outcome, with losers detaching themselves and not supporting the final decision or plan. The aftermath may carry over to all future meetings, minimizing full participation of everyone because they anticipate the same use of clout. This may be the approach needed when other approaches are either ineffective or inappropriate. For example, voting is used in national and local governmental elections with the majority rules, or the boss may need to have last word.

“We” approach. With this approach, all parties recognize and acknowledge the skills and expertise of everyone involved. Everyone comes prepared to share their point of view, addressing the issue at hand rather than trying to convince everyone they are correct. All involved fully expect open dialogue and the need to modify views and opinions as the group works together, resulting in the best solutions emerging. The “We” approach will result in the full support and engagement of all.

Understanding these different approaches to dealing with conflict both at work and in our personal lives can prove to be very beneficial. If you are knowledgeable and comfortable with these approaches and acknowledge the pros and cons of each, you will be more effective in handling conflicts.

Richard Avdoian is founder & CEO of Midwest Business Institute, Inc., a business consulting and training firm. For information about training and seminars, contact Richard at 618-972-8588 or Richard@RichardAvdoian.com.