by Yonason Goldson
In my 23 years teaching high school, I never received a thank you note like this one.
Many students wrote to express appreciation. But this letter was from an entire graduating class.
You can’t miss it when you walk into my office. It jumps off the wall because it’s nondescript: a one-page letter typed in ten-point font; a sheet of plain white paper mounted in a simple plastic frame.
Reading it, even for the hundredth time, transports me back to 2012. The carefully crafted message ripples with playful references to my distinctive teaching style and favorite themes. Clearly, my students learned what I taught them. More importantly, they took my teachings to heart.
And that’s what ethics is all about.
The letter reminds me that leadership, whether in the classroom or the boardroom, is built on trust and mutual respect. It reminds me that ethical leaders expand their focus beyond the values they want to impart, remaining humble and alert for lessons they can learn from those around them. As the great sage Rabbi Chanina observed 2000 years ago: “I learned much from my teachers, more from my colleagues, and most from my students.”
Most of all, the letter illuminates three ethical outlooks that are indispensable for sustaining all human relationships and enabling them to flourish.
1. Gratitude requires attention. The Hebrew term for gratitude is hakarat hatov, which translates literally as recognizing the good. Never take your blessings for granted; reject the presumption of entitlement and superiority; notice the sparks of clarity, kindness, and connection that kindle light in your world. When you do, your natural response will be gratitude for those you serve and those who serve you.
2. Gratitude takes effort. We all want to be appreciated, and failure to show appreciation alienates those closest to us, embitters employees toward their bosses, and accelerates the unraveling of any community or organization. “Thank you” is a good start, but it’s not enough. A heartfelt expression reflecting the depth of your appreciation is more precious than pearls. A small, sincere gesture or symbol of recognition will pay dividends for years to come.
3. The most valuable lessons lie off the beaten path. My favorite line in the letter from my students is this one: We learned more going off on tangents in your class than we learned in all our other classes combined. Our brains are wired to respond to the unexpected. This is the power of tangents. Even the most engaging routine becomes drudgery unless we take unexpected detours from time to time. Be grateful for novelty, promote serendipity, and blaze a trail into the undiscovered country that lies beyond your comfort zone. Doing so will yield priceless rewards for you and all who answer the call to join you on your journey.
I no longer teach teenagers. But the cultivation of an ethical mindset is every bit as essential for business leaders and professionals.
And for all the ancient secrets and contemporary insights I share, none is more foundational than the simple, inspired wisdom impressed upon me a decade ago by a group of 17-year-old girls: seek out and recognize the good, go the extra mile to show genuine appreciation, and remember, as the unnamed philosopher said, that your current safe boundaries were once unknown frontiers.
Rabbi Yonason Goldson is a conference keynote speaker and coach. He works with leaders to create a culture of ethics by setting higher standards to limit liability while building loyalty and trust.
Visit him at ethicalimperatives.com.
Submitted 2 years 84 days ago